Kaiba's Comfort
by Dreamer of Legends
Summary: For Randi. This horrid mess is your fault.


Mokuba trudged down the hall sleepily, clutching a hot cup of chocolate in his little hands. He yawned widely and rubbed his closed eyes with his fist, it was late in the night and he couldn't sleep, so he had gone to get a warm drink in an effort to tire himself.

When he opened them again he had to jerk to a halt before he ran smack in Roland, their butler.

"Good evening, young master." Roland greeted politely. "May I assist you with anything before I retire for the night?"

"No thank you, you can go to bed." Mokuba waved his hand dismissively.

"Thank you sir." The butler bowed gratefully and headed off in the direction that Mokuba had come from.

"Good night Roland." Mokuba mumbled, taking a sip of his drink and shuffling toward his own room. The hot liquid scalded his tongue, and so he blew on it gently.

If Roland was going to bed, then that usually meant Kaiba was ready to close down for the night too. Mokuba sighed. It seemed like his brother was almost constantly working these days, he almost never got to see him anymore, much less talk to him. _He must be getting tired of all these late nights._ Mokuba thought to himself. _Oh well, Seto is strong, I'm sure he'll be alright. And it's not like there's very much I could do to help him anyway... What with Christmas being so close and sales being what they are, my brother hardly has any time to himself anymore._

Just as he reached his door, a strange, sort of suppressed, coughing sound reached his ears. He paused with one hand on the doorknob, cocking his head to the side and listening intently.

There it was again, sounding far-off and muffled. And it seemed to be coming from... Seto's room?

Curiosity aroused, Mokuba crept down the hallway a bit further, stopping when he reached the large and rather intimidating door that marked his brother's bedroom. Most would think that Kaiba's door would be locked, to keep people out. But Mokuba knew better, his brother's door was never locked for him. He reached for the large, curved door handle and turned it gently, peeking inside.

Kaiba sat at his desk, typing as usual. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary here, but Mokuba still didn't like what he saw. His brother had dark circles under his eyes from staying up too late, and he kept rubbing them in an effort to stay awake. Finally, he let out a huge sigh and turned off the monitor.

Mokuba watched as Kaiba heaved himself up off of the chair with a grunt and walked toward the window sill, leaning his head on the glass pane tiredly. Something crystalline glinted on his cheek for a moment before he grunted again and wiped it away.

"Seto?" Mokuba asked gently, stepping fully inside the room and shutting the door. Kaiba whirled around at the sound, his face softening when he saw who it was that disturbed him.

"Hey kid." He greeted, his voice cracking just the slightest bit. "What are you doing up so late? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Mokuba shrugged. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought maybe a drink would help. What about you? I thought you went to bed hours ago."

Kaiba grimaced, his shadowed face growing darker for a moment. "Too much to do. I have to be constantly maintaining our systems, making sure everything is perfect. I have to be sure we stay on top, or else the competition will crush us."

He moved past his little brother to sit on the edge of his bed, rubbing his face and sighing again. Mokuba tiptoed over and pushed his head through Seto's arms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, looking up worriedly at his brother with such innocence and compassion in his eyes that Kaiba couldn't help but grin. He pulled Mokuba up onto his knee, so that his brother's head was resting on his sturdy shoulder comfortably.

"Here, drink some of this, it will help." Mokuba offered, holding his little mug up to Kaiba's lips. He took a sip of the still steaming liquid gratefully, relaxing a bit as the warmth spread through his body quickly.

"Thanks Mokie." Seto smiled, an actual heartfelt smile that made his brother's eyes widen in astonishment as he looked up.

"'Mokie?'" He echoed, not believing his ears. "You haven't called me that since..." He trailed off for a moment, trying to remember. "Since Gozaburo took us away from the orphanage." He finished softly, wincing at the painful memory.

Kaiba's smile slipped away with the thought that he had pained Mokuba. "Sorry." He apologized quickly. He put an arm across Mokuba's back in silent comfort. "I should not have brought that up."

"No, no, don't worry about it, it's a good thing as far as I'm concerned." Mokuba murmured, snuggling closer. "I think the Christmas spirit is rubbing off on you already." He giggled.

When Kaiba didn't respond, Mokuba put a hand on his elder brother's arm. "What's wrong Seto? You seem down today."

Kaiba bit his lip, torn between the desire to ease some of his burden by talking, and the desire to keep Mokuba unburdened by life's troubles.

"It's nothing." He mumbled finally, and looked away. "Don't worry about it kid."

"C'mon, can't I help you? It's not Yugi again is it? You're not still worrying about being the best... are you?"

Kaiba frowned at the mention of his arch-rivals name. It was true that he wanted to be the very best, because that felt that it was the only way he would ever remain fully in control of his life. And he had thought that the way to be the greatest was through power. Raw power and determination was all he would ever need. He didn't need help from anyone else, especially not from his rivals. But when Yugi had come completely out of nowhere and challenged this firm rooted belief, the young duelist had shaken him to the depths of his soul. Yugi had changed something within his heart that night, and for the first time in a long time, Kaiba was forced to take a good long look at himself.

And he realized, much to his displeasure, that Yugi was right. He could not know for certain whether or not the 'Heart of the Cards' truly existed, but it seemed that Yugi's faith had opened Kaiba's mind to the possibility that life could be changed and influenced by outside forces.

He had also grudgingly began to realize that life couldn't be suffered through alone, and although those pathetic friendship speeches seemed to grow more annoying with every breath, they held a ring of truth to them that he could not ignore.

He was unsure what to make of these changes he felt within himself, because they ran completely against everything he had learned growing up. True, his stepfather had not been the greatest teacher, but his lessons stuck firmly in Kaiba's mind despite that fact. He was taught to be ruthless, cunning, and to trust no one but himself. Everyone else had their own hidden agenda, and the only reason people wanted to get close to you, was because they wanted something you had.

And so Kaiba had kept to himself as much as he could, but the more he tried to isolate and cut himself off from the rest of the world, the more the world pushed and prodded at him to listen.

He tried to keep his mixed emotions locked down, often covering up his true feelings beneath a mask of anger and hatred that more often than not blinded him, and left him cold and pained inside. Only Mokuba seemed to have the slightest inkling of what he was going through, and Kaiba was forever grateful for that. Despite all of the mistakes he had made in his life, all of the horrible things he had done, Mokuba had stood beside him without judgement, without question. He was the only real friend Kaiba had, and he knew that life would be next to impossible without him.

Mokuba watched the swirl of confused emotions play behind Seto's blue eyes, wondering what he could possibly be thinking about to put him in such a state. He could see a thousand emotions dance across his face, from anger to confusion, sadness to grudging acceptance.

After a moment, he blinked and brought his attention back to the question at hand.

"No." He said a little forcefully, then he softened his tone. "No it's not Yugi. Not this time at least. But come on, what else am I going to do with my spare time besides fight to become better?" He asked, only half-joking. Kaiba laughed a little, but it was a strained thing and did not last long.

"What is it then? Come on Seto, I want to help you. Please?" Mokuba begged, anxious to ease the burden bending Kaiba's shoulders.

"It's just..." Kaiba began, searching for the right words to express himself. He had to clear his throat, he was unused to divulging such closely guarded secrets. But he knew he could trust Mokuba, and so he pressed onward.

"I feel like my life is spinning out of control. I don't know who I am anymore, all of the things I had been taught growing up are being turned inside out and upside down by the geek squad." He clenched his teeth in frustration. "I used to know exactly who I was. I knew what I wanted from life, and how to get it. I could take care of myself, without any help from anyone else, I was dependant on no one. And then Yugi and his friends came waltzing along, and trying to show me that my way isn't the right way after all. They don't understand that 'my way' is the only way I've ever known, and I can't just up and abandon it for something I'm not even convinced really works!"

He was breathing hard with the weight of his emotions forcing themselves out. He suddenly felt exposed and embarrassed at having revealed so much about himself.

Mokuba remained silent for a moment, and then when he spoke it was with the ring of a child's innocence and perspective on life that Kaiba would to his dying day never forget.

"I know how you feel. Sometimes life changes really fast on us, one minute you think you have it all figured out, and the next you're left wondering where it all went wrong. But Seto," Mokuba whispered, looking up with at his brother with sympathy and adoration. "I want you to know that no matter what happens no one can really change who you are inside."

He brought one small hand up to rest over Kaiba's heart. "You don't have to change yourself to fit other people's ideas and perspectives. Listen to their thoughts, take their advice if it's sound, but don't go bending yourself over backwards trying to prove that one way or another is better. I think Yugi and his friends have the right idea, they believe that as long as they stick together and try their best then everything will turn out for the better in the end. Whether or not you agree with them is up to you, but just try not to disregard everything they say as a load of nonsense. Make sure you have all the facts before you decide where your own heart lies."

Kaiba was in complete and utter shock. When had his little Mokie gotten so wise? For a moment Kaiba could hardly believe that the little figure he held in his arms had such great wisdom and perspective within him. He felt as though those few simple words had reached right were he needed them most, into the center of his not-quite-stone-cold heart. He realized that Mokuba was right. He had been so caught up in clinging to his old ways, so absorbed with trying to defend what he thought was 'right', that he had not bothered to hear other people's opinions and ideas. Just because someone tried to show him another way did not mean he had to fully embrace it, he just had to accept it for what it was and learn from it that way.

Who knows, maybe in time he would discover that the lessons he clung to so fiercely in his youth were not all they were cracked up to be, but in the mean time he would try to keep an open mind, so that he didn't violently change his whole outlook all at once. Baby steps were what he would go with for now.

Kaiba's eyes stung with tears as a great relief seemed to wash through him. Embarrassed by this, he tucked his head and buried his face in Mokuba's dark hair, whispering softly: "Thank you."

Mokuba smiled quietly and sighed in the crook of Seto's neck. "You're welcome big brother."

They lay snuggled like that for a long while, Kaiba absently rocking his little brother back and forth, back and forth. When he felt Mokuba's breathing grow deep and even, he gently pried the mug out of his limp hands and placed it on the bedside counter. Then he lifted the youth up from his lap and put him over his shoulder, with one arm hanging limply down his back and the other draped around his neck.

He rubbed Mokuba's back as he slipped quietly down the hall to the kid's bedroom. The walls were painted a bright blue color, and the thin azure curtains fluttered in the open window. The whole of it was chilly, but he found that there was a peaceful quality to the atmosphere that made him smile.

As he closed the window he noticed that it was snowing softly outside. Perfect, Christmas would be whiter than ever at this rate.

When the window was securely locked and the curtains pulled wide to let in the moon, the air warmed up a bit. One-handed, Kaiba pulled back the covers to Mokuba's little bed and gently lay the young boy onto the cool sheets. As soon as he did, Mokuba reached over and grabbed his stuffed Blue Eyes White Dragon, pulling it close to him and snuggling into bed. Kaiba tucked the covers up to his chin, and on a whim, bent down and pulled back a lock of Mokuba's thick hair, planting a quick kiss on his little brother's forehead.

"Love you Mokie." He whispered fervently. "Good night."

Mokuba smiled in his sleep, and Kaiba pulled open the door with one last backward glance at his family. Then he closed the door silently, smiling all the while.


End file.
